Dept of Commerce Questionnaire

[Snaggletooth]

Entity clients are bringing these miserable 19-page forms to me to fill out for them. Even farmers are getting these things.

Nothing new here. Same garbage every year.

I should be thankful for the chance to perform this service and charge money for it. But clients think it is a tax form and we should therefore have all the information. And before they pay us MUCH money, they'll refuse to fill it out.

On their envelope, the return address states that the addressee MUST fill these out by law. Until he died, my dad would throw them away every year, and so did everyone else who owned a farm in our county.

How do you handle this? I think the Dept of Commerce uses it for demographic studies and shares the info with multinational corporations for marketing purposes.

[erchess]

Have never seen this

but then I have only one entity client and I am not in a rural area at all. (Actually I live in a rural area but I go into the city for clients.) Anyway my inclination would be to say that it is from the Dept of Commerce not the IRS or even the Treasury Dept and is therefore out of my line. I am handicapped in my hands. I type very well on a computer but writing by hand hurts like anything and the result is so illegible even I can't read it unless I take the time to print in which case a nine page form would take me about 18 painful hours to complete (no exaggeration).

[BOB W]

Been garbage canning them for at least 10 years...............

[Black Bart]

Census stuff

Entity clients are bringing these miserable 19-page forms to me to fill out for them. Even farmers are getting these things.

Nothing new here. Same garbage every year.

I should be thankful for the chance to perform this service and charge money for it. But clients think it is a tax form and we should therefore have all the information. And before they pay us MUCH money, they'll refuse to fill it out.

On their envelope, the return address states that the addressee MUST fill these out by law. Until he died, my dad would throw them away every year, and so did everyone else who owned a farm in our county.

How do you handle this? I think the Dept of Commerce uses it for demographic studies and shares the info with multinational corporations for marketing purposes.

I've tried all the usual: ignore, discard, plod through, curse, refuse to do it, etc. etc. etc. Nothing's quite satisfactory, but now I just do them. Nobody checks them for accuracy -- they take what you send. If I don't know the figures, I/we guess and that works okay. It's 19 pages alright, but it's mostly multiple choice and many boxes direct you to skip several sections if you answer no and don't get into a sub-box. I just take available customer info and rough through, not worrying about exact figures -- I've never yet had one sent back (apparently they're glad to get any response). Yes, my conscience bothers me sometimes that I'm not giving this junk my full attention and I know it's important to somebody (government/industry/Greenspan/whoever), but tax folks have got to live too.

Anyway, I'm doing them (no charge for monthly fee guys/ charge all others). Most clients think it's a superhuman feat to fill out that newspaper-thick form and I let the misconception stand -- maybe someday I'll be able to cash in all that admiration at the bank.

[JohnH]

I often fill them out, but sometimes not until the second or third one shows up. I generally toss them if they arrive at a super busy time (during tax season, for example), assuming that another one will show up in a few months. Some do, some don't, so I figure that by tossing the first one, the total number I need to fill out will dwindle somewhat. I can usually finish one in 5-10 mintes because I only enter info that is at hand & easy to obtain. Anything else just gets a SWAG.

I recall how I answered the questions when the Dept of Commerce issues some pronouncement about the economy or industry-specific statistics. I can't help but wonder how much of their metric is based on forms filled out by people like me. Hopefully what I've done is buried in the mass of data and doesn't impact the results in any meaningful way.

[Black Bart]

Ha-ha.

...because I only enter info that is at hand & easy to obtain. Anything else just gets a SWAG...

...I can't help but wonder how much of their metric is based on forms filled out by people like me. Hopefully what I've done is buried...

And I thought I was the only slacker in this bunch.

[JohnH]

My motto - never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.

[Black Bart]

See, Bob.

Been garbage canning them for at least 10 years...............

John and I are holier-than-thou 'cause we take the time and trouble to send in bogus information instead of just recklessly discarding the forms.

[BHoffman]

$500 penalty

I fill out a few of those every year, but only because they say there's a $500 penalty for failure to comply. Never seen it actually imposed, and a few clients have ignored these things and showed them to me many months after they were due "Oh, by the way...what's this for?"

[JohnH]

John and I are holier-than-thou 'cause we take the time and trouble to send in bogus information instead of just recklessly discarding the forms.

Bart:
Good analysis of our approach.
Why leave bureaucrats hanging when you have an opportunity to add to the mayhem?

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About bureaucrats:
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Gentlemen:
Whilst marching to Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying with your request which has been sent to HM ship from London to Lisbon and then by dispatch rider to our headquarters.
We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents, and tent poles, and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty's government holds me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg you indulgence.
Unfortunately, the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains unaccounted for in one infantry battalion's petty cash and there has been a hideous confusion as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This reprehensive carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstances since we are at war with France, a fact which may have come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall.
This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government, so that I may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains. I construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as given below. I shall pursue one with the best of my ability but I cannot do both.
1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London, or perchance
2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.
Your most obedient servant,
Wellington