Off-topic about a cat

[Bees Knees]

Mushi caught two mice last night in two separate incidents. Had those mice been allowed to roam freely in my house and run across my desk during a client interview, it could have greatly reduced my client retention ratio for next year. Therefore, I am going to deduct his food, liter, and vet bills as the cost of extermination under outside services.

[veritas]

See United States v. Fletcher No. 02-2307 (8th Cir 3/06/03)

James Otis & Company (JO&C) provided tax consulting, tax preparation, and audit representation services to self-employed taxpayers. Donald Fletcher conducted seminars for prospective JO&C clients, during which he advocated reducing or eliminating tax liability by converting what appeared to be ordinary personal expenditures into tax deductible business expenses. He told the prospective clients that JO&C knew of "secret" provisions hidden in the Code -- provisions that accountants and attorneys were not trained in -- and spoke about deducting a cat as a rodent control device, the cost of dog food as a security device, and the cost of a bird as aerial surveillance. Clients who were persuaded to use JO&C's services signed a participation agreement agreeing to pay JO&C either a percentage of their gross income or a percentage of the tax savings generated by JO&C's services. Based on advice and assistance provided by JO&C, one client who operated a home day care center deducted veterinary and food costs for her family pets as security and rodent control expenses. A doctor and his wife deducted as a security expense $17,384 in health care costs incurred for the heart condition of the wife's intravenously fed, non-mobile, eleven-year-old German shepherd. A dentist deducted $12,000 in wages allegedly paid to his minor children when no such wages were ever paid

[Joe Btfsplk]

Watch Dog

I had a client who listed "Watch Expense" which was for his dog. This guy did not work at home and had no inventory. I omitted the Watch Expense from his return. I suppose he tried to sneak in all of the dog food and vet expense as a deduction.

[JAinNC]

Cats, dogs, or clients. What's the difference?

If you post something about a cat there are many more chances of getting responses then if you ask a tax or ethics question about partners A and B. Partner A is the friendly, sweet one and B is the b......
Perhaps it will help to name them Buttercup and Hairychest.

Jeannie

[Bees Knees]

I've never heard of anyone with the name A or B. My eyes glaze over when people use those names in an example.

[JAinNC]

Well thanks Bees

I'll be sure to use Ann and Bea the next time I post a question about two general partners.

[JohnH]

I knew an "A" & "B"

Years ago I had a client who had twin sons, both of which he had named "Ernie". One was "Ernie A" and the other was "Ernie B". Neither the "A" or B" was the initial for a middle name - they were simply "Ernie A" and "Ernie B".

This is a true story, and sometimes I thought the family might have been good candidates for a "Bob Newhart" episode. Do I need to add that this took place in North Carolina?

[Black Bart]

I can see where this thread is heading

...dogs or cats, can provide stress relief and are calming.

...cuddles for "pettings" during client interviews and provides stress relief to the clients during the tax appointment, I could deduct...bills?

and it kinda makes me want to maybe push the limits a little further. For instance; at one time years ago, I had a secretary who did marvelous things for a sweater (she'd make a dead man sit up) and, although she has now gone to seed, I'm wondering; if I hired a similar temp, what sort of related expenses could I deduct? Makes you start getting creative.

I'm pretty sure she would have qualified under the criteria established in this and other posts (1) Business picked up sharply and immediately, as guys who previously said "The wife handles my paperwork" displayed a surprisingly newfound curiousity about the details of the tax code (2) A few male clients privately expressed a wish to "cuddle" with her (3) The jury's still out on the stress factor -- she may have caused as much as she relieved.

Expenses; expenses. Hmmm.....what could I justify?

[JohnH]

Other expenses

You might want to factor in a generous expense set-aside for the increase in your liabilty insurance premiums after she wins the harassment suit.

[Black Bart]

Seems pretty clear

James Otis & Company (JO&C) provided tax consulting, tax preparation, and audit representation services to self-employed taxpayers. Donald Fletcher conducted seminars for prospective JO&C clients, during which he advocated reducing or eliminating tax liability by converting what appeared to be ordinary personal expenditures into tax deductible business expenses. He told the prospective clients that JO&C knew of "secret" provisions hidden in the Code -- provisions that accountants and attorneys were not trained in -- and spoke about deducting a cat as a rodent control device, the cost of dog food as a security device, and the cost of a bird as aerial surveillance. Clients who were persuaded to use JO&C's services signed a participation agreement agreeing to pay JO&C either a percentage of their gross income or a percentage of the tax savings generated by JO&C's services. Based on advice and assistance provided by JO&C, one client who operated a home day care center deducted veterinary and food costs for her family pets as security and rodent control expenses. A doctor and his wife deducted as a security expense $17,384 in health care costs incurred for the heart condition of the wife's intravenously fed, non-mobile, eleven-year-old German shepherd. A dentist deducted $12,000 in wages allegedly paid to his minor children when no such wages were ever paid

that JO&C were scamming these people who either did/did not luck out and not get audited.

Still, I wonder what an IRS agent would say about a reasonable "security" expense (I've heard of junkyard owners deducting guard dog expenses). Suppose somebody had an office in a bad neighborhood and bought a firearm to keep there for protection. Is that deductible?

[JAinNC]

JohnH, you think fast on your feet

--- to be from North Carolina.
From the mountains to the sea, intelligence is scattered at the same rate as those in the population who see no reason to replace misssing front teeth and no reason to remove junked cars from their front yard.
But it has nothing to do with whether you have a dog or a dog guarding your business.

Back to the subject of sweaters - We did have a client call in for an appointment and asked if we offered any other services while men was waiting like a massage or a tanning booth. Strange.

[JohnH]

Speaking of teeth

Did you know the toothbrush was invented in the Western NC mountains?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a "teethbrush".

[dmj4]

My son asked me...

not long ago why it was called a toothbrush instead of a teethbrush. Now, I can tell him why!

Thanks,
dmj4

[Black Bart]

Actually,

Years ago I had a client who had twin sons, both of which he had named "Ernie". One was "Ernie A" and the other was "Ernie B". Neither the "A" or B" was the initial for a middle name - they were simply "Ernie A" and "Ernie B".

This is a true story, and sometimes I thought the family might have been good candidates for a "Bob Newhart" episode.

Do I need to add that this took place in North Carolina?

yes, I think you do, because I've been to most states in the USA and I haven't found quirky behavior more particularly unique to one region than any other. Of course, since I'm from Arkansas, I've occasionally received a disproportionate share of the sort of "comment" (putting it kindly) you're dishing out to the North Carolinian.

Odd thing, though -- I've noticed that many people are who are quite strictly politically correct and would be outraged if such references were made to ethnic groups and their environment, think nothing at all of vile and crude stereotyped remarks about those they lump together as "Southern trash," i.e., toothless, tobacco-chawin', redneck ignoramuses. It's one of the few remaining groups that it's still "safe" to disparage and I suppose there's always a need to be superior to somebody.

[TMI Moderator]

It's not a problem if things stray off topic every once in a while, but nothing good can come from some of the topics in this thread.

Respectfulness monitor blinking yellow. Let's be careful, O.K.?