Goin' Global

[Black Bart]

Dang telemarketers -- when the phone rings, there's either somebody there or somebody not there and both ways are drivin' me crazy. Today's episode:

BB: Mom and Pop's. Pop speakin'.
Caller: Would you connect me with the person in charge of purchasing decisions?
BB: My wife's not here.
Caller: That's alright; I see that your company is, uh..ummm...Black Bart Boondoggles, LLC and, uh, are you Mr. Bart?
BB: Uh-huh.
Caller: Yes, well, Mr. Bart, I'm calling on behalf of First Global Business Development and I'd like to talk to you about making money. How does that sound?
BB: We already gave $25 to the Arkansas State Troopers and we take our old clothes to the Salvation Army.
FG: No, no -- nothing like that. I'm talking about making money for you. Your company has been selected for this exceptional offer because at First Global we believe firms like yours will be the future dominant providers of multi-generation and tax-optimized wealth management services in America. We can help you craft customized solutions for your high-net worth clients via 15 monthly educational webconferences -- offered at extremely reasonable rates and fully guaranteed to enhance firm profitability and client retention. In addition, your excellent business profile enables us to offer you a $100,000 business line of credit at prime plus 11.99% and your application will be expedited since you are pre-approved.
BB:
FG: Let me give you an example of our operation. You may recall that in 2000 the business world was under great pressure to update business procedures to ensure seamless integration of new century technology in accordance with the initiative which was known as Y2K compliance. First Global was in the thick of that transitioning, assisting many businesses like yours and probably that of some of your colleagues. Did you have any such problems?
BB: Well, my bookkeeping program only prints as far as 1999, but I just white over it so I guess I got it licked. I had a buddy, though, who owns a parking lot -- now, he like to have got in serious trouble over it.
FG: I see. And did he save a lot of time and money by utilizing First Global or one of our competitors?
BB: Well, actually, I believe it cost him money. It was gravel and Atlas Asphalt told him he'd have to get it blacktopped or the guv'mint would shut him down, so he did.
FG:
BB: Hello?

[veritas]

...Black Bart Boondoggles, LLC

Are you feeling disregarded?

[S T]

Good to hear from you

BB,
Always good to hear from you, and thanks for the post. I think we all welcome a diversion as we continue to process what seems our most problematic returns during the summer (while on extension of course).

Don't you have any of those returns ?? Are you bored? Or like Veritas stated above, do you feel disregarded and not acknowledged?

Sandy

[LTS]

if this helps

there is a number to call to enter your phone number in a do not call data bank. you can do it online also. i don't have the number handy, but i could get it. i'll bet somebody knows it now. i did it a couple of years ago, and it really cut down unsolicited calls (90+%) at home and at the office.

[S T]

Do not call registry

Here is some info

https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx

https://telemarketing.donotcall.gov/

http://www.ftc.gov/donotcall

http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/pubs/consumer/alerts/alt107.shtm

I have done some of the above, and it has helped, but now I am finding out that I need to once again re-register due to an area code change. What a PIA

Good Luck!

Sandy

[Black Bart]

Hi folks.

Actually, I did sign up on the Do Not Call Registry previously and it worked really well, but calls picked up again after a year. I re-registered, but it didn't help. Hopefully, third time's charm, so I just now registered on your first link, Sandy. It's good until 2012.

What I meant by "there's either somebody there or somebody not there" is sometimes I get a call and nobody answers when you say "Hello" (y'all ever get those?).

A friend told me that this is a new sales gimmick -- computers are programmed to make thousands of calls and delete the voicemails/no answers. Answers of "Hello. Hello. Hello?" are assumed to be live people and those numbers are stored for a salesman to call later without wasting their valuable time (it's okay to waste yours). Very clever of them, even if I don't like it.

Veritas & LTS -- Thanx for your concern (and yours, Sandy). "Disregarded? Bored? Unacknowledged?" Yeah, but heck, what tax person isn't? Don't worry about me anyway -- the doc says another five years or so and I'll snap right out of it. If I don't, then I'm gonna either see a pastor or a palm reader (one of 'em oughta do the trick).

I do have a couple of returns to do. In fact, one came in last month that I've been eagerly anticipating all year. The guy's got a doughnut shop, buys his ingredients almost exclusively at Wal-Mart, collects about 1,000 cash register slips per year (pays cash-no checks), wads up each and every single one of them into a ball, and throws it in a cardboard box. First thing I have to do is unroll them, flatten them out, and put paper weights on the stacks (actual tax work begins quite a bit later). I've complained to no avail, but there's consolation -- I charge him an arm and a leg and he doesn't make a peep about it.

Every day of my life, I am forced to add another name to my list of people who can "go jump in the lake!" -- Calvin; Calvin & Hobbes.