Telephone Call

[abby]

here, here

Don't mean to sound like a groupie, but, Black Bart - I'd follow you to 'The Ends of the Earth Message Board' to read your posts and your deathless, sometimes death defying, prose.

And, I'm married to a writer, so there.

[Black Bart]

JohnSpadaEA,

Your writing reminds me of a guy named Bob Mitchell. He is a fellow Drake user from South Carolina, who was a big time contributor to the Klienrock list serve. Old Bob always played the I'm just a country boy routine, not a CPA, not an EA, just Old Bob.

You, like Old Bob have excellant writing skills, which I applaud you for. He was also a successful businessman with his small town practice of 1500 returns a year. He was very good at telling us how his practice of $50 and $60 returns was superior to all to all them overcharging CPA's and EA's.

Now, in many ways I think Old Bob had a point. He worked during tax season and make enough money to have a nice pick up truck and enjoy life. I will admit that he helped me with my marketing program and I use his training manaul for my new employees.

Speaking as a practitioner of the "I'm just a country boy routine;" thank you for your kind remarks. Do I (chuckle-chuckle) detect just a tinge of detached amusement on your part vis-a-vis my homespun homilies and crackerbarrel philosophy?

Thanks, too, for the favorable comparison to your (retired/late?) colleague. However, I'd say that "Old Bob" has/had a bit more going for him than "Old Bart" does. To wit:

* "big-time contributor to Klienrock..." / Outside of $15 per month to Children International, I'm not a contributor to much of anything.

* "not a CPA, not an EA, just Old Bob" / Remember the scene from Treasure of the Sierra Madre in which Walter Huston said he'd trade his entire share of the gold for a few hand grenades to stave off the bandits? Well, that's the way I feel about your EA license. I'd trade "excellent writing skills" for just such credentials. If I don't pass that upcoming C-230 test, I'll be out of a job, and, there's a more than fair chance of that happening if it includes a quiz on corporations, estate taxes, gift taxes, etc. which you and others here kick around as lightly as if you were discussing what you had for dinner. I haven't a clue what you're talking about.

* "a successful businessman...1500 returns...$50 and $60 returns...superior to...CPA's and EA's." / I suspect "Old Bob" may have gilded the lilly somewhat in his extolling the advantage of small-town practice. Actually, my "cheap" returns are just $30 (although, as "Tip" O'Neill liked to quip, "All politics are local,") and regional prices may apply since the Carolinas are probably a bit more upscale). I have only 500 clients which is quite a bit less than him, but I believe that independent practitioners doing 1,500 returns are rare. The main advantage is that there's less stress involved, but--as to income--I know a CPA and an EA in a nearby larger town whose incomes completely dwarf mine. For a "large" client whom I'd charge $500--they can and do get $3,500. They're frugal people and don't indulge themselves; but both could easily drive Mercedes', have summerhouses at the lake, and take Carribean cruises.

* "pickup truck...enjoy life...marketing program...training manual for new employees" / I do have a pickup, but it's a 2000 model. As to "enjoy life," I advise you to do it while you are your age--at mine (66)--well, I think the late actress Bette Davis said it best, "Old age is no place for sissies." My "marketing program" is that I accept tax work from just about anybody who walks in the door and give imprinted nail-files to them. My "training manual"--I tell new employees to "just start filing and we'll work into the rest of it later."

The point is, I guess, that the "life in the country" dream is the same as any other--it's just that; a dream. This isn't really Mayberry, or even "Ozzie and Harriet," but it's nice to think that such places maybe can and do exist. As for "country," it's a good vehicle for me. I can joke about "life in the sticks" because I'm from the sticks, just as an African-American can use the n-word because of his ethnicity and no one takes offense in either case. Or it could be a Texan, or a New England Yankee, etc., etc.

Funny, isn't it, how we all cling to our stereotypes? For instance, when I think of Africa, I think of those old Tarzan movies and a thatched treehouse, although people now crash through the bush in Humvees. In college I had two roommates--one from Dallas, one from Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania. Startled at the Texas guy's pedestrian appearance, I inquired, "Where's your boots?" He sarcastically shot back, "I don't own any boots." What an odd bird! What was he mad about? And why did he dress just like everybody else instead of a Texan? The PA guy was studying classical music. "Why?" I asked. Confiding his theory, he speculated, "So many smart people like it; I figure there has to be something to it." What a dork, I first thought, but, a year later, I had learned that the "Peer Gynt Suite" wasn't a story about a Peeping Tom's hotel room and realized I'd heard that song "Morning" on TV. As to Arkansas, you probably have a picture of that in mind, but log cabins are long-gone, roads are paved, indoor plumbing is universal, and, in truth, it looks pretty much like anyplace else in the South. Not as picturesque as where you're from (Massachusetts, isn't it?) and nowhere near the cultural advantages your region boasts, but while Jeff Foxworthy-types are numerous, they aren't an absolute majority either.

That's what I like about this board so much. Mixing with learned people, you run onto new ideas and new things you never imagined. Until I started watching QF and this board about a year and a half ago, I didn't have a clue as to the depths of my ignorance (both tax-wise and otherwise) and how out-of-date my knowledge was. It occurs to me that you truly begin to learn when you realize what you don't know.

As long as I've made an essay out of this, I might as well make it complete. Once, long-ago on the "old" board, I believe I offended you by some of my remarks. For that I apologize. I'd also like to say that I admire your very helpful, worthwhile, and astute contributions to this board. You are indeed a "credit to your profession."

[Black Bart]

abby

I
read your posts

Thank you very much.