Another one bites the dust.

[Bees Knees]

And let us not forget...

"And every sheckel collected shall be accounted for in ye old daily ledger. And every goat depreciated over 3 years"
- Paul's letter to the Auditors

Lets not forget about Matthew the tax collector.

“Hello, my name is agent Matthew. I am with IRS collections. Can I interest you in some good news?”

[TaxBird]

Lets not forget about Matthew the tax collector.

“Hello, my name is agent Matthew. I am with IRS collections. Can I interest you in some good news?”

Oh yes. As I recall, that would be in the recently available gnostic texts, no? Book of the Taxman is it? Do you happen to recall the cite?

By the way, next time Bees, please provide your cite. I will let it go this time but common board courtesy dictates that one shouldn't be left to wonder. Next time I will smite you.

[Bees Knees]

By the way, next time Bees, please provide your cite. I will let it go this time but common board courtesy dictates that one shouldn't be left to wonder. Next time I will smite you.

The citation is Matthew, Chapter 3501, verse (a), "The taxes imposed by thee subtitle shalt be collected by thy Secretary and shalt be paid unto the Treasury of the United States as internal-revenue collections."

[TaxBird]

The citation is Matthew, Chapter 3501, verse (a), "The taxes imposed by thee subtitle shalt be collected by thy Secretary and shalt be paid unto the Treasury of the United States as internal-revenue collections."

That's better! See, was that so hard?

(Don't make me smite you!)

[Joe Btfsplk]

Jesus

Did the IRS audit Jesus' tax return?
Was he in the 39% bracket? Or did he claim he was an exempt organization?

Did he pay the excise tax when he turned water into wined?
Did he claim the rental value of his parsonage?

I think the bible should have said more about these kinds of issues and less about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[jainen]

barter club

I think he was in a barter club where he could change stones into bread and so on. Probably subject to SE tax. But he could take the manufacturer's production credit for all that fish he handed around.

Anyway, 10 year statute of limitation has probably run out, although the lien might still be valid.

[Bees Knees]

Or did he claim he was an exempt organization?

At Matthew 17:26, 27, Jesus said he was exempt from tax, but in order not to stumble anyone, he had his disciples pay the tax anyway. Voluntary donations to IRS are deductible as charitable contributions under Section 170(c)(1).

[veritas]

Did the IRS audit Jesus' tax return?
Was he in the 39% bracket? Or did he claim he was an exempt organization?

Did he pay the excise tax when he turned water into wined?
Did he claim the rental value of his parsonage?

I think the bible should have said more about these kinds of issues and less about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Check out the Koran for rules.

[TaxBird]

Did the IRS audit Jesus' tax return?
Was he in the 39% bracket? Or did he claim he was an exempt organization?

Did he pay the excise tax when he turned water into wined?
Did he claim the rental value of his parsonage?

I think the bible should have said more about these kinds of issues and less about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You know, this reminds me of a prospect I had once who actually claimed to be Jesus (no lie). He came to my office and after about a half hour chat slipped that little tidbit into conversation.

He said "I am the Christ"
Me (thinking he couldn't possibly have meant what he just said *literally* and thought perhaps he was instead alluding to the Christ 'spirit' in us all) "Yes, I know. I am, too"
Him: "No. I am *the* Christ."
Me: (after an 'oh sh*t' pause) "Well, as long as you don't expect to pay me in fish & bread I guess we'll be straight".

Needless to say, the meeting was cut short after that.

Never did hear from Jesus again. I guess that means I'm going to hell.

[jainen]

when the time comes

>>that means.... <

Nah, I'm sure he figured, "This one's okay. He's already got everything he needs. I'll just pick him up when the time comes!"

[veritas]

At Matthew 17:26, 27, Jesus said he was exempt from tax, but in order not to stumble anyone, he had his disciples pay the tax anyway. Voluntary donations to IRS are deductible as charitable contributions under Section 170(c)(1).

I believe the Romans had recinded the tax free status of the temple so the taxes would not be deductible.

[Black Bart]

Woe Unto Thee, O Bee!

...the language had yet to be invented...I am curious why certain preachers on TV today still quote God as if he only speaks using words like ye, thy, thee, and reprobates?

Thy doubting nature is an abomination, thou reprobate. Ye shall be be cast down upon a La-Z-Boy and thereunto thee shall be given a "muteless" remote. Thou art to be compelled to watch Brother Robert Tilton (2 AM) one full fortnight, rendering manna unto the brethren at 1-800-COUGHUP until thy Visa be maxed out.

[Bees Knees]

No need. My wife already does that...the VISA part, that is...only instead of Brother Tilton, I believe it is the god of infomercials that her eyes are compelled to see.

[dyne]

One of my favorite passages from the Bible is where Jesus enters into Jerusalem
riding on a colt. His disciples began to rejoice and praise God and saying:"Blessed
is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!" Some of the Pharisees said to Jesus
quiet your disciples. Jesus answered: "I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones
would cry out". Luke 19:28 through 40. Ponder that!

I am glad to learn that a number of smart people on this message board believe in God.

The Bible also says: The fool says in his own heart, there is no God!

[Joe Btfsplk]

CPE for desciples

They took faith-based CPE courses subsidized by the Burning Bush Administration.