Hysterical Laugh of the Day

[Burke]

Phone messages from tax clients that say "Are you in today? Call me back." Like, when am I ever not in....and when do you think I will have time to call you back?

[AZ-Tax]

Allow me to add to this Laugh of the

Client bring in their Daughters Fed paper tax return who is a first time DYI TP. It has all kinds of entries SE, Wages, etc. w/o any docs to support the amounts. So what do you want me to do with this? Does it look correct?

[RitaB]

I didn't really laugh, but

10 minute conversation, a girl crying that 2014 withholdings were too low, isn’t that too low, why did they do that, should I change it, how should I change it.

Me: You get 3-4k refund every year. Why would you change it?

Crickets.

Me: Just a reminder, I am waiting on you to give me the date of purchase and cost of computer hubby uses "strictly" for business. Remember that?


And, everybody who comes in here says, "So. Are you about caught up?" No. No, I am not.

[kathyc2]

Client: Aren't you glad there's only a few more days?

Me: Yes, because at 11:59 pm on 4/15 the magical tax fairy comes in and finishes all the returns.

[RitaB]

And this one

"What time do you close?"

[Burke]

Or "What time do you go to lunch?"

[geekgirldany]

"I guess you are really busy this time of year?"
"What time do you leave the office?" (I never leave)
"I guess you are burning the midnight oil" (I only sleep 4 to 5 hours a night so yes, yes I am)

"My return is easy, you should have no problems getting it done" (corporate and personal return one week before due date)
"I guess you will be taking a two week vacation after the 15th" (no I have payroll return which is why your return will not be ready until Mid May)

"What day will my return be ready" (before the 15th)

Final

"You know me always late" (yes I do know youuuuuu)

[TAXNJ]

April 1

"What time do you close?"

Based on experience. Close April 1st and return May 2nd. Why? Makes you healthier

[mactoolsix]

We have a client questionnaire - as do most.
New question this year "Do you participate in online gambling?" because many online sites are out of the country.

Our 92 year old client answers:
"Yes, see my 1099-B for the figures. Any questions, ask my broker!!"

[Openfire]

It's always the ones you least expect! Those older clients are spunky...and smart!

[oceanlovin'ea]

I've got one for you

Client called me yesterday. She is a nail tech, single mom. "I know that it is really late and you are probably really busy but is there any way you can do my return for me. I'm off on Monday"
ME: I am really swamped right now. Monday is full. I can do an extension for you. Then we can work on it the week of the 20th."
HER: Oh, well. I guess we could do that. You see I really need my refund. My car is giving me trouble and I need to get it fixed."
ME: I'll do the extension for you if you would like. That is the best I can do"

She doesn't have many expenses. I know I could do the return quickly but I don't have time. I have other returns that I am trying to get done by Tuesday. I am done Tuesday evening. At 2 AM Wednesday morning we will be in the car headed to the mountains for 5 days. I not killing myself for someone who calls this late. Last year I would have done it. Not this year.

Linda, EA

[RitaB]

Good for you, Linda

Client called me yesterday. She is a nail tech, single mom. "I know that it is really late and you are probably really busy but is there any way you can do my return for me. I'm off on Monday"
ME: I am really swamped right now. Monday is full. I can do an extension for you. Then we can work on it the week of the 20th."
HER: Oh, well. I guess we could do that. You see I really need my refund. My car is giving me trouble and I need to get it fixed."
ME: I'll do the extension for you if you would like. That is the best I can do"

She doesn't have many expenses. I know I could do the return quickly but I don't have time. I have other returns that I am trying to get done by Tuesday. I am done Tuesday evening. At 2 AM Wednesday morning we will be in the car headed to the mountains for 5 days. I not killing myself for someone who calls this late. Last year I would have done it. Not this year.

Same way I feel about the ones who brought it in late because they owed. What the crap? Now, I guess you owe even more, Buddy.

[Burke]

One perennial fellow who calls a few days before tax deadline just left my office. I made him write a check for $1,200. Just a guess. He says, "I feel I should apologize. Are there others like me?"

"Yes. It's always every member of your family......" (Well, that is what I wanted to say.)

[RitaB]

Yep, it runs in families

One perennial fellow who calls a few days before tax deadline just left my office. I made him write a check for $1,200. Just a guess. He says, "I feel I should apologize. Are there others like me?"

"Yes. It's always every member of your family......" (Well, that is what I wanted to say.)

I just had to sit thru a guy telling me all about his timeshare repossession woes, he calls his broker while he's sitting here, to transfer $5,000 to his checking to send with his extension request, and tells them he needs it yesterday, and I'm sitting here with stuff to do, and I can't get over how rude people are... both to me and the broker. OMG.

I wanted to tell him that boot-up-your-*** extraction is a medical expense; it's your lucky day.

[FEDUKE404]

Unexpected expense

I wanted to tell him that boot-up-your-*** extraction is a medical expense; it's your lucky day.

I *MUST* file this away for future use!

Oh yes, you might also consider a $10 "tax prep surcharge" for each cell phone call made/received while client is at your desk. (Half that amount for text messages.)

FE