Hemeroids

[Unregistered]

I claimed my ROIDS as office furnature, because I sit on them all day as I work. Is that legal?

[Black Bart]

Please, my dear unregistered,

Even we (accountants) have our limits.

As you can see, by the underwhelming response to your coarse and crude query, there is a distinct aversion in the tax community to your (putting it kindly) "off-topic" post. It's a bit much, even for me, and I'm somewhat noted for responding to anything and everything as long as it has nothing whatever to do with taxes.

Ordinarily, such questions are considered a royal and/or 'roidal PIA. Still, to show you what a regular bunch of folks we are, AND, in the interest of commerce, if you will agree--on your honor--to subscribe to The Tax Book (Deluxe Edition), I will furnish you an answer (a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it).

Okay--since I'm your sole hope, I get to indulge myself (I'm a spell-a-phobe). You're correct about the slang term "roids;" but you've misspelled the proper term altogether. It should be "hemorrhoids." Not to worry--ordinarily there's no need to inject this term into polite conversation or love poetry. Not much question but what it's an ice-breaker, but it's also a ship-sinker if you're trying to "chat her up".

Now to the technical part. I researched the question and, as usual, I can't find a citation (that nit-pickin' nerd jainen probably could, but I refuse to ask since he revealed my affiliation with the "Know-Nothing" party). The dictionary says it's "a painful mass of dilated veins" (hmm--could be in your head as easily as in your nether regions).

Anyway, employing Bee's STD formula--that's "step-transaction doctrine"/NOT sexually-transmitted disease--I concur with your ground-breaking and somewhat daft out-of-left-field conclusion that this could indeed be MACRS 7-year office furn-I-ture. I believe he said STD is an IRS theory which views a series of separate actions with the intent of arriving at a predetermined result being considered a single transaction. In your case, obviously you have facilitated the development of 'roids with the intent of turning yourself into a piece of furniture. Quite understandable and reasonable.

Take the deduction--put in on the detailed statement accompanying 4562 (this'll give you something to tell your grandkids about "how I did taxes in the old days"). I'll bet you any amount of money that it sails right on by the IRS clerk without a second glance (you could list the "Queen Mary" on that schedule and it wouldn't raise any eyebrows).

[Matt Sova]

Not so fast

First of all, in order to deduct this assinine piece of furniture, he has to have basis. Now, let's assume he did pay for this piece of "furniture". That would be his basis, correct? Butt wait, what if he purchased this year's ago? We cannot assume he purchased, and put into service, this item in the current year. If it was purchased in a prior year it becomes a hole other story. Now he has to use FMV. What is the FMV for this used furniture? I am not sure. Are these roids in good shape or has he rectum? There are too many questions that are unanswered here. Please, post some more info.

Matt

[stern100]

I think the preparation of schedule H will clear up any problems and you can declare this a fixed ASSet under the anal retention rules of depreciation since they are clearly not appreciated.
cheer up though, it beats the stool I'm sitting on.

[SueBaby]

I think the preparation of schedule H will clear up any problems and you can declare this a fixed ASSet under the anal retention rules of depreciation since they are clearly not appreciated.
cheer up though, it beats the stool I'm sitting on.

You are batting 100 there ---- to be funny that is!!!

[Possi]

I'm in TEARS here!

I haven't laughed so hard all SEASON!
If he sits on the topic too long, he'll have to put it on a Sch D and claim Capital GAINS.

[Bettie Cheek]

roid on

I have to tell you I needed this laugh and can't wait to share this with others who are actually wroiking. I was reading other info as to why we put up with this mess and I have to remember it is only for 4 months and then we spend the money. I do get to pray with people so that is a joy. I just had one come in with a W-2 of $1900 and w/h of $172. She said H&R Block would do the return for $49 and she didn't have to pay up front. I don't think so. She said she was paid under the table and couldn't report that income because they didn't give her any papers. I wondered what she was doing under the table. Have a great week.

[oceanlovin'ea]

HRB Fees

I just had a new client come in. Couple with 3 W-2's.... 1040EZ. Haven't been able to itemize for years, kids gone. HRB charged them over $80 last year. They left my office very happy.

Linda F

[Deltax]

I just had a new client come in. Couple with 3 W-2's.... 1040EZ. Haven't been able to itemize for years, kids gone. HRB charged them over $80 last year. They left my office very happy.

Linda F

Linda, that post from Bettie Cheeks had nothing to do with H & R Block fees. It was what she was doing under the table .

[veritas]

Hey Bart

remember this off topic post?

or should I say topical?

[PIGLEE]

My client - needed to share.

I need to share what happened to me this week. A new client comes in to do his tax return, biker type, and I am by myself. No problem, everything is going fine. When I asked for his childs Birthdate, he said, Just a minute, he stood up, started unbuttoning his shirt and then pulling it back over one sholder, I am not to sure what is happening. Then he pointed to his shoulder and said, come close and look here. His child birthdate was tatooed on his shoulder. He said I had to read it because if he goes to a mirror to read it, it is always backward. Then he showed me his daughters on the other shoulder, but he could not deduct her. I was glad he only had two children.

[JohnH]

There's a better term

Shouldn't the words "hemorrhoid" and "asteroid" be switched in English? After all, "asteriod" has a more anatomically correct connotation, it's gender neutral, and it calls to mind the concept of fire, burning embers, etc. (Plus it's easier to spell)

[Corduroy Frog]

Shark

I thought hemorrhoid was a kind of shark. I've even seen them on TV...