Off-topic: Durable POA for gay couple

[DTS]

I got into a discussion with a gay client yesterday that wants to do this and name a longtime partner to be in charge of making those decisions, in case he cannot. He does not want ANY family members making these medical decisions on his behalf, as he does not have much of a relationship with them.

Setting civil unions and SSM aside (intent of my client is to do neither), will his wishes be respected, if worded properly?

[WhiteOleander]

In Texas, you can do a Medical Directive or Medical Power of Attorney. you can appoint any person you choose. I think you can even direct some you specifically do not want to make decisions. But, it would probably be best to go to an attorney that is good in estate planning.

[Koss]

Poa

I agree that they should consult an attorney. There are many attorneys that specialize in estate planning for gay couples.

If the documents are drawn and executed properly, they will be binding in most states. The law does vary from state to state, but not much.

A few key points:

The documents are worthless if doctors and other third parties don't know they exist, or don't have access to a clean, notarized copy. It may not be advisable for a person to carry this sort of thing around with him, but the documents need to be readily available. Many states now allow these documents to be filed with the county recorder. That makes them a matter of public record. Goodbye privacy. But many county recorders make the documents available online. So they become very easy to get to, from any computer with internet service, in an emergency.

Most states recognize three different documents:

(1) Power of attorney for property and financial affairs
(2) Power of attorney for health care
(3) Living will

These documents do very different things, and they are not interchangeable. Some states have standard forms made available to the public by the attorney general's office or the state bar association. But if they complete these forms without consulting a lawyer, they better know exactly what they are doing.

BMK

[DTS]

The fellow was concerned because of stories he's heard about family coming in and shoving the partner out of the picture and we did not know if this was law or poor planning. I did refer him to a couple of attorneys, but I was so curious after our conversation and know many on the board are knowledgeable in these matters.

[Koss]

Gay Couples

DTS wrote:

The fellow was concerned because of stories he's heard about family coming in and shoving the partner out of the picture and we did not know if this was law or poor planning.

It's both the law and poor planning. In most states, a "significant other," or "cohabitant," or "partner" has no rights and no standing unless the proper documents are executed before the need arises.

If an unmarried person does not put their wishes in writing, the law will allow certain family members to make decisions, and the law will completely ignore the significant other. But the proper legal documents can avoid this issue.

BMK

[DTS]

It's both the law and poor planning. In most states, a "significant other," or "cohabitant," or "partner" has no rights and no standing unless the proper documents are executed before the need arises.

If an unmarried person does not put their wishes in writing, the law will allow certain family members to make decisions, and the law will completely ignore the significant other. But the proper legal documents can avoid this issue.

Your post states what my argument was to him, which was if a document states he wants a person to care for and make decisions for him, no family member should be able to side-step those wishes.

[taxea]

He also should keep a copy with him at all times, put one in his medical records with his doctor and hospital and have partner keep one with him at all times.