NT/It's that Time

[BP.]

Anybody else need this right about now??

http://www.thetaxbook.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16816&highlight=billing+time

[Jesse]

Things you can do to make me really enjoy our tax appointment.

Always start by telling me how much you meant to be more organized this year. It also helps break up the monotony of my day when you tell me at the time of the appointment how you started your own business last year and now you have a lot of questions.

Bring your kids. Knowing that they’re wandering around my non-childproof office really helps me concentrate, not that we’re doing anything important anyway. Bring your dog, too. Even better, bring the kids and the dog. We all share a laugh when one or the other tugs on the computer cables-- it’s fun to watch the monitor wobble on its swing-arm. And I love the crumb trails your toddlers leave behind them, not to mention the spilled juice or milk on my carpets. Be angry that I don’t have a television for them to watch.

Don’t bother to open the envelopes marked Important Tax Document Enclosed. I really enjoy being your secretary and doing those little things for you. And if you do open the envelopes, leave the documents in them. If you take the documents out of the envelopes, be sure to stuff them in your pocket or just crush them so they’re hard to read. Better yet, spill coffee on them. Then hand them to me slowly, one-by-one, looking at them first like they’re written in Latin. I like the suspense.

Call me at the time of the appointment to tell me you’re just leaving and ask me if I mind if you’re a little late. Or call me at the time of the appointment to reschedule. Even better, just don’t show up, then call me a week later to tell me how sorry you are. Be late or early for your appointment. Tell me you’re late because my directions are wrong. Coming on the wrong day or the wrong time is fun, too. It’s even better when you do it the second week of April and tell me that you don’t mind coming in even at midnight because you want to get the return done.

It’s natural, your God-given right, and truly a beautiful thing when you breast-feed your infant while I prepare your tax returns. Nor do I mind your using my towels to clean yourself when the little tyke spits up. And the smell helps me focus on the task at hand.

Sell lots and lots of stock and have no idea what you paid for it and when. Ask me why you should know that. Then ask me if I can look it up on my computer. And be sure to ask me what all those investment forms mean, and then tell me something’s wrong. Whatever you do, don’t call your broker or investment advisor.

Be sure to forget a W-2 and blame your wife or husband. Ask me if I can look it up on my computer. I don’t mind the extra time it’s going take to finish your return, and I surely wouldn’t think of charging you more because of it. And when you drop off the W-2 and I tell you I’ll get to it as soon as I can, be sure to call me every day to see if it’s ready. It’s more fun when you tell me two weeks after your return is sent electronically that another W-2 you had forgotten about just turned up, and I surely don’t think that your forgetting where you worked is at all odd.

Ask me if I have facilities for changing diapers.

Ask me if I mind watching you eat your lunch while I prepare your return. Just drop the crumbs on my carpet. And be sure to spill your coffee on my desk. I have plenty of towels on hand for those other things.

I just love it when you slide your kids’ W-2s and/or investment forms across my desk and ask if I can do their returns, especially when you tell me how easy they are for me to do and how it’ll hardly take me any time to do it. No, I don’t think a kid in college should really attempt something so difficult as Tele-File or the mysterious 1040-EZ. It’s no problem that when you scheduled the appointment you forgot to tell me that your kid’s return needed to be done and that he has seven W-2s from three states. Of course, I’m really pleased to do them free because they’re so easy.

If you don't mind I'll add - play it while reading one of my favorite quotes.