L B T s

[Black Bart]

Little Bitta This -- Little Bitta That...

The late-season, cheapskate, junk-case, price shoppers started drifting in this week. Yesterdays':

I've just got a couple of a W-2s and a few other things. What would you charge for it?

Un-huh. Well, first...let me look at it. Okay, here's the W-2s and...what's this?

Oh, that's the farm.

I see. And this?

Well, I had a small side business, but I closed it up and started selling Avon a little later. I did travel some for that second one -- can't I get some mileage expense? I drove to Jasper's Jumpoff a lot except during July and some of October and December when I went every other Monday and Thursday, unless things were slow.

This place -- how far off it it and how many trips and miles did you drive?

I don't have any idea.

Anything else?

Well, actually I worked in Illinois -- that's this W-2 here -- during the first part of the year before moving down here and sub-renting out my apartment up there. But can't I just put everything on the Arkansas form? There's no need to do two, is there?

Lady, you've got some complex, time-consuming tax work here and I don't have time to get into anything like this before April 18th. I'll get you an extension if you want one.

Oh, I don't like to file my taxes late! I'll just have to look around. Thank you. Goodbye.

[erchess]

Back before payroll was due

I lost a plumbing contractor over price. The office manager called me and she did mention that the payroll needed doing and the plumbers needed their W2s. What had caught her interest was that I did a return for a masseuse friend of hers (1040 EZ and state- only data entry was 3 W2s and her personal info) for 75 bucks. She thought the friend was a Sch C and therefore a business and assumed I would do the contractor's S Corp for the same fee as both are business returns and she was hoping that since I was going to charge so much for the S Corp I would do the owner's 1040 for free. Just out of curiosity I asked what the business charged for plumbing and she said they bought the parts wholesale but sold them to customers for if anything more than the Home Depot or Lowe's would have charged and in addition charged 150 minimum labor charge which gets you a whole hour and additional time is 125 an hour quarter hour minimum.

If I tried to make up stories as strange as the things that happen to me no one would believe them.

[RitaB]

My plumber

My plumber has owed me $290 for payroll and tax work for over a year.

I needed a flush lever and a new flapper for my toilet. I called him. Charged me three times what the parts sell for at Lowe's and $75 trip charge. Took seven minutes, and he could have walked over here. (I know, the knowledge of WHAT to do is priceless.)

I would have broken something and/or said vile things if I did it myself.

But HE HAS OWED ME for a year. And, it really wasn't that bad taking the lid off and pulling that chain. (OK, that WAS bad.)

So, now he owes me $180. I think I see some finance charges in his future.