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Beware of old school chums

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    #1

    Beware of old school chums

    An annual late-season occurrence -- the last few days never passes but one of these shows up. You just have to read between the lines...

    A well-dressed, well-groomed older man arrives in a Cadillac, gold-rimmed glasses, and a hurry. Something about the way he looks at me (like he's thinking "How can I work this guy?") that I don't quite trust...

    OSC: Hi! Remember me? I'm Johnny Come-Lately. We went to school together!
    (Translation: We once attended Dogpatch High roughly within a decade of each other). I've seen your sign and always intended to stop by. (Translation: I know you do taxes but I never needed you before.)

    BB: Yes, I remember the Come-Lately name (one of them will be out any day now). What can I do for you?

    OSC: Well, I know it's a little late (really?), but I've been busy and haven't gotten around to doing my taxes -- I just need a few hours of your time. (Translation: Although I'm retired and have put this off for months, now I want you to drop everything and everybody and do a last minute rush job for me).

    BB: I'm sorry, but time is something I don't have right now. I can get you an extension.

    OSC: Oh, well, you see I don't usually file my taxes late. (Translation: This is obviously a bald-faced lie, but I hope you'll believe it).

    OSC: I used to have an accountant do them until he got a little too expensive, (Translation: He finally started charging me what it was worth and I want you to do it dirt cheap) so now I usually do my own (Translation: This year it's a big PIA mess that I can't handle -- there's no chance whatever of any repeat business).

    BB: Sorry, but I have long-time customers who are in front of you and I have to do theirs first.

    OSC: Well, I just need a few hours of your time (Translation: I don't give a **** -- drop them and handle that box of jumbled-up junk I've so carefully left out in the car until I can get you nailed down and committed).

    BB: Why not try Block? Our local office does good work and has a large staff -- they can probably get to it.

    OSC: Oh, they got me in an awful mess last year (Translation: They made me do it right and charged full price).

    He kept scanning the room for evidence of stacked cases and -- after taking up 30 minutes of my time with no consultation fee (I swear I'm tossing the next one staight out the door) -- left; slightly miffed at my passing up this wonderful opportunity to dig through his crap for the little bit o' nothin' fee I'm sure he expected to pay.
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    #2
    Originally posted by Black Bart View Post
    An annual late-season occurrence -- the last few days never passes but one of these shows up. You just have to read between the lines...

    A well-dressed, well-groomed older man arrives in a Cadillac, gold-rimmed glasses, and a hurry. Something about the way he looks at me (like he's thinking "How can I work this guy?") that I don't quite trust...

    OSC: Hi! Remember me? I'm Johnny Come-Lately. We went to school together!
    (Translation: We once attended Dogpatch High roughly within a decade of each other). I've seen your sign and always intended to stop by. (Translation: I know you do taxes but I never needed you before.)

    BB: Yes, I remember the Come-Lately name (one of them will be out any day now). What can I do for you?

    OSC: Well, I know it's a little late (really?), but I've been busy and haven't gotten around to doing my taxes -- I just need a few hours of your time. (Translation: Although I'm retired and have put this off for months, now I want you to drop everything and everybody and do a last minute rush job for me).

    BB: I'm sorry, but time is something I don't have right now. I can get you an extension.

    OSC: Oh, well, you see I don't usually file my taxes late. (Translation: This is obviously a bald-faced lie, but I hope you'll believe it).

    OSC: I used to have an accountant do them until he got a little too expensive, (Translation: He finally started charging me what it was worth and I want you to do it dirt cheap) so now I usually do my own (Translation: This year it's a big PIA mess that I can't handle -- there's no chance whatever of any repeat business).

    BB: Sorry, but I have long-time customers who are in front of you and I have to do theirs first.

    OSC: Well, I just need a few hours of your time (Translation: I don't give a **** -- drop them and handle that box of jumbled-up junk I've so carefully left out in the car until I can get you nailed down and committed).

    BB: Why not try Block? Our local office does good work and has a large staff -- they can probably get to it.

    OSC: Oh, they got me in an awful mess last year (Translation: They made me do it right and charged full price).

    He kept scanning the room for evidence of stacked cases and -- after taking up 30 minutes of my time with no consultation fee (I swear I'm tossing the next one staight out the door) -- left; slightly miffed at my passing up this wonderful opportunity to dig through his crap for the little bit o' nothin' fee I'm sure he expected to pay.

    OK so be that way you ungrateful snob.
    He has plenty of other former classmates who'll be tickled pink to get his business.
    "The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectful" - John Kenneth Galbraith

    Comment

      #3
      I love the translations! I think he has family members scattered about the country- name is vaguely familiar.

      Comment

        #4
        What the crap

        Love the post BB, and I'm the one he left. Well, actually I fired him. And, yeah, he has gotten extensions before. And, he is way too old to be YOUR school chum. Teacher, maybe. Or, within TWO decades of your attendance at DPHS.

        Anyhow, WTC is up with this one: "Well, I've never had to get an extension before"?

        RB: "Well, you're gettin one NOW."


        Honestly, I am sick to death of hearing that. I used to hold their hand and comfort them with words like, "Hey, I don't do my OWN return til August, it's not a big deal. Really. There. There."

        Now, I'm like, "There's the door, and there's the yellow pages. There. There."
        Last edited by RitaB; 04-13-2010, 09:06 AM.
        If you loan someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

        Comment

          #5
          Love it

          That is a great story and translation too.

          Gave me my well needed smile for the morning.

          Linda

          Comment

            #6
            Good for you Black Bart! I can SENSE taxpayers who are BAD or who I do not want or
            need and obviously you can too. I solved the extension and delinquent returns problems
            years ago as I REFUSE to file either. Well I did break down and file an extension for
            a special client who I like very much. I believe the next person who calls and asks for
            a quote of my fee, I will say my fee STARTS at $200. I know a local CPA who does just that.
            Best wishes to all.!
            Last edited by dyne; 04-13-2010, 03:00 PM. Reason: more info

            Comment

              #7
              The other day I got a referal from a client that loves to give me new clients. I set up an appointment for that day and the new client arrives late. She was only supposed to have 1 W-2, a quicky and I quoted $65.

              I start setting up the file and she pulls out her w2 (no prior year return) and then a student 1098T. Ed expense 385 and a grant for $3500. She also wants to file a schedule C with expenses with income of $85. "I have lots of expenses".

              I then tell her I would have to charge her $150. She looks at me as if I was playing some advertising game with her. At that point I said "We should stop now before I get into more of the return" and I hand her her documents. She says that I don't have any money for the $150 or for that matter the $65 I quoted. ??????????

              She was dressed in a low-low cut top and on 2 occassions they almost fell out as she leaned toward me. But as I'm thinking about it they would never fall out because they were way too big.

              I sent her on her way and was glad she was gone.
              Last edited by BOB W; 04-13-2010, 03:20 PM.
              This post is for discussion purposes only and should be verified with other sources before actual use.

              Many times I post additional info on the post, Click on "message board" for updated content.

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