Let the fun begin

[powerage]

I am customer service oriented. I spent 16 years in the grocery business.

I have to answer the phone at work, even when I'm doing a return. Hey that is what the boss says.

Now, I swear, these same people ask the same question every year.

Let the questions begin...

Q: "What do I need to bring in?" I have been going to you the last 10 years".
A: "The same items you have brought in for the last 10 years".

How y'all have done this for 20+ years is beyond me. This is my 5th season and I'm about burnt out already. I really have a hard time comprehending how people can be clueless when it comes to one of their most important financial decisions every year. And then trying to keep up with the tax code. Hell, that is brutal enough.

It is obvious I work in a tax office.

*Potential Client walks in*

PC: Do you do taxes here"?
Me: "No". or "I'm just here taking up space".

Yes, I have done that to break the ice. Usually works.

For some strange reason, I love the job of preparing taxes. Compared to most of y'all, I do easy returns. People in Florida think itemizing with mortgage interest and real estate taxes and nothing else results in a very difficult return.

Y'all have a great season. Cheers!

T

[BHoffman]

Good season to you

The fun has begun. I have papercuts from mailing out the preseason letters and organizers

[Jiggers]

It makes you wonder.......

"Q: "What do I need to bring in?" I have been going to you the last 10 years".
A: "The same items you have brought in for the last 10 years"."

The same applies to one monthly bookkeeping client. He brings me his information each month and will always forget something.

And when he picks up his quarterly/annual payroll reports, he has to be walked through each form and explained what each is, where to sign, and help him fill out the check that may need to be attached.

And he has been coming to me for 22 years!

I actually think he has to call for instructions on how to get to work each day!

[BOB W]

You said....FUN???? the only thing fun about it is collecting the money. AND I'm not sure how much that is going to be.

I took a hit last year with TT cutting into my basic "A" returns, you know those 15 minute quicky $150 ones'. I would do it cheaper but with all the overhead (tax programs, education, organizer cost and you name it) it would hurt.

Maybe I need to use the simple returns as a "Loss Leader" and do them cheaper. Referals is the name of the game and if TT is getting clients, TT will be getting the referral.

What do you think??? Low ball the simple returns and jackup the complicated returns to balance overall income?

[Jesse]

I know I post this every year but it's my absolute favorite!

Originally Posted by Bucky
Things you can do to make me really enjoy our tax appointment.

Always start by telling me how much you meant to be more organized this year. It also helps break up the monotony of my day when you tell me at the time of the appointment how you started your own business last year and now you have a lot of questions.

Bring your kids. Knowing that they’re wandering around my non-childproof office really helps me concentrate, not that we’re doing anything important anyway. Bring your dog, too. Even better, bring the kids and the dog. We all share a laugh when one or the other tugs on the computer cables-- it’s fun to watch the monitor wobble on its swing-arm. And I love the crumb trails your toddlers leave behind them, not to mention the spilled juice or milk on my carpets. Be angry that I don’t have a television for them to watch.

Don’t bother to open the envelopes marked Important Tax Document Enclosed. I really enjoy being your secretary and doing those little things for you. And if you do open the envelopes, leave the documents in them. If you take the documents out of the envelopes, be sure to stuff them in your pocket or just crush them so they’re hard to read. Better yet, spill coffee on them. Then hand them to me slowly, one-by-one, looking at them first like they’re written in Latin. I like the suspense.

Call me at the time of the appointment to tell me you’re just leaving and ask me if I mind if you’re a little late. Or call me at the time of the appointment to reschedule. Even better, just don’t show up, then call me a week later to tell me how sorry you are. Be late or early for your appointment. Tell me you’re late because my directions are wrong. Coming on the wrong day or the wrong time is fun, too. It’s even better when you do it the second week of April and tell me that you don’t mind coming in even at midnight because you want to get the return done.

It’s natural, your God-given right, and truly a beautiful thing when you breast-feed your infant while I prepare your tax returns. Nor do I mind your using my towels to clean yourself when the little tyke spits up. And the smell helps me focus on the task at hand.

Sell lots and lots of stock and have no idea what you paid for it and when. Ask me why you should know that. Then ask me if I can look it up on my computer. And be sure to ask me what all those investment forms mean, and then tell me something’s wrong. Whatever you do, don’t call your broker or investment advisor.

Be sure to forget a W-2 and blame your wife or husband. Ask me if I can look it up on my computer. I don’t mind the extra time it’s going take to finish your return, and I surely wouldn’t think of charging you more because of it. And when you drop off the W-2 and I tell you I’ll get to it as soon as I can, be sure to call me every day to see if it’s ready. It’s more fun when you tell me two weeks after your return is sent electronically that another W-2 you had forgotten about just turned up, and I surely don’t think that your forgetting where you worked is at all odd.

Ask me if I have facilities for changing diapers.

Ask me if I mind watching you eat your lunch while I prepare your return. Just drop the crumbs on my carpet. And be sure to spill your coffee on my desk. I have plenty of towels on hand for those other things.

I just love it when you slide your kids’ W-2s and/or investment forms across my desk and ask if I can do their returns, especially when you tell me how easy they are for me to do and how it’ll hardly take me any time to do it. No, I don’t think a kid in college should really attempt something so difficult as Tele-File or the mysterious 1040-EZ. It’s no problem that when you scheduled the appointment you forgot to tell me that your kid’s return needed to be done and that he has seven W-2s from three states. Of course, I’m really pleased to do them free because they’re so easy.

[FEDUKE404]

A couple more for Jesse

Jesse - You omitted the cell phone ring tones/conversations as well as incessant texting while you are trying to discuss the tax issues at hand.

Question: Is an accountant's "attention getting" 2 x 4 a deductible business expense???

Otherwise - great post!!

FE

[Jesse]

No kidding! Cellphones are my pet peeve!

This is when the "billing time" song needs to be played at high volume! I had the you-tube link saved in my favorites but I have had terrible computer issues to start off the season and I lost that link, I'll have to see if I can find it again.

[FEDUKE404]

Billing time video

No kidding! Cellphones are my pet peeve!

This is when the "billing time" song needs to be played at high volume! I had the you-tube link saved in my favorites but I have had terrible computer issues to start off the season and I lost that link, I'll have to see if I can find it again.

Jesse - It this the one you seek? (no charge to you for the research time )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TkuZ5oI9uY

FE

[Jesse]

Yes, that would be it, thank you! Now I'm ready for the season, bring it on!

[Uncle]

My take

You said....FUN???? the only thing fun about it is collecting the money. AND I'm not sure how much that is going to be.

I took a hit last year with TT cutting into my basic "A" returns, you know those 15 minute quicky $150 ones'. I would do it cheaper but with all the overhead (tax programs, education, organizer cost and you name it) it would hurt.

Maybe I need to use the simple returns as a "Loss Leader" and do them cheaper. Referals is the name of the game and if TT is getting clients, TT will be getting the referral.

What do you think??? Low ball the simple returns and jackup the complicated returns to balance overall income?

Very interesting question, one that many of us will wrestle with. The answer likely depends upon many factors which may vary between preparers. Here is my analysis of my market and my response to it.

High end clients: These clients pay $1K and up, and insist that I continue as their preparer. Retention is 100%, I seem to have them for life. Therefore, do the best job I can and charge well for it. The problem is I have too few of these and not much immediate prospect of getting many more.

Clients who are leaving for the box: Fickle, whiners, complainers, price-shoppers. They do have a computer at home and endless faith in their ability to do their own tax returns. Right! My response is to cut my margin to a minimum if that will keep them, and politely let them go if not. I do offer on line preparation for $14.95 through Drake in an attempt to maintain some contact. Who knows? Perhaps they will come back with their tails between their legs, and I want them to remember me as friendly, capable and reasonable.

Profitable clients: I am in a market with a very large proportion of potential clients who are simply unable to prepare even a simple return. I describe them as functionally illiterate. A high proportion of them cannot read English. My problem is that many of my competitors are fishing in this pool too, and they are competing based primarily on price. The result is a race to the bottom. I am responding (quite well, I think) by cutting my expenses to the bone and then some. I have eliminated desks, permanent offices, landlines, permanent signs, almost all paper, etc. For this segment, I am trying to maintain a profit margin while matching my competitors' price. Volume is therefore very important.

[BP.]

I'm about burnt out already. Y'all have a great season. Cheers!

Hang in there powerage. The daylight increases each day of tax season, and your fellow preparers are always here at the watercooler! Cheers to you!

What do you think??? Low ball the simple returns and jackup the complicated returns to baIlance overall income?

I'm all about the second part; but the first part not so much.

I have papercuts from mailing out the preseason letters and organizers

Tell me about it - already restocked the bandaids.

Thanks Jesse & FEDUKE404 for hauling out those cherished goodies for us!

[ChEAr$]

The magic word

I am customer service oriented. I spent 16 years in the grocery business.


Y'all have a great season. Cheers!

T

And the magic word, Tim, is "Cheers!" (I wonder why). Next time I'm visiting my daughter in Tampa I'll call you and let you buy me some "cheers!" (Scotch,
single malt.)

And btw, I also grew up in the grocery business, starting at age 8.

[BP.]

Clients who want to use my computer

How about the people who want to use your computer to jump online to get their mortgage interest, interest income, student loan interest paid, what have you? You get this?

[BOB W]

How about the people who want to use your computer to jump online to get their mortgage interest, interest income, student loan interest paid, what have you? You get this?

Yes, I get this too. Not too often but enough to be billable time and backup waiting clients.

[Burke]

No Way. No How. Although I will let them use my phone.