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    #1

    The Want Ads

    In the slowish summer, a young/old/whatever man's thoughts turn to.... (no, no, not that). I'm talkin' about the help wanted classified job ads (to see if I could maybe still be good for anything). Window-shopping them is fun/easy/no risk since I'm over the hill and generally unmarketable. Plowin' through the newspaper and analyzin' recent offerings:

    Ad #1: "GENERAL ACCOUNTANT. Welders Wiring, a world leader in industrial wire production, seeks a highly-motivated (I get in out of the rain), hands-on (almost got in trouble for that once -- I swear she winked at me), team player (was best free-thrower in ninth-grade Skins and Shirts). Five years experience in accounting/finance (I've got 40.). Proficiency required in Excel (wonder if John H. would 'splain to me what that stuff's good for?), Powerpoint (could I just take a laser pointer?), and FAS (??? -- will have to dope this one out on the job). Are debits still on the right and credits on the left (or is the other way around? I forget). Never mind salary; they've got dental insurance, so what else could I need to know?

    Ad #2: NEEDING SOMEONE to split 3 hickory logs into firewood. (2) 24' logs and (1) 15' log. All 20" or less in diameter. Pay negotiable. Will pay by hour or job (let me think about this one for a while).

    Ad #3: NUKE POWER TRAINEE. Learn nuclear reactors! Top pay, raises, sign-on bonus $12K-$18K. Medical/dental/30 days off yr. Need strong math. HS grads to age 34. (the prerequisites seem a tad suspiciously low, but no question of qualification -- I got a good, solid gentleman's "C" in algebra and graduated from high school well before my 34th birthday).

    Ad #4: NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS -- Pierce-Klein Manufacturing. Apply in person (NO PHONE CALLS); World-Temp Services. Must have consistent work history and be able to pass drug test (hmmm, I dunno -- ever' now and then, I sneak in a diazepam to keep from goin' crazy in this business).

    I'm leanin' toward the log-splittin -- seems like it would be less trouble. Anybody here work part-time off season?


    I know hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? -- Ronald Reagan
    Last edited by Black Bart; 07-20-2009, 11:41 AM.
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    #2
    There are a number of things I would be interested in off-season, but somehow "off-season" never seems to come! I'm still doin' taxes. (And I don't do bookkeeping or accounting). And probably will until the end of Sept. By that time I am attending CE or conferences, and ready to start over for the following year.

    Comment

      #3
      I do have somehting to say about Excel and the log-splitting job. I'd use an Excel spreadsheet to figure out how many tax returns I need to prepare to buy one of those power-operated log splitters, then haul that thing over to the job site. Have you ever tried to split a hickory log with an axe, or a maul and wedge? That's work.
      Last edited by JohnH; 07-20-2009, 01:48 PM.
      "The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectful" - John Kenneth Galbraith

      Comment

        #4
        Say John,

        Originally posted by JohnH View Post
        I do have somehting to say about Excel and the log-splitting job. I'd use an Excel spreadsheet to figure out how many tax returns I need to prepare to buy one of those power-operated log splitters, then haul that thing over to the job site. Have you ever tried to split a hickory log with an axe, or a maul and wedge? That's work.
        I'm interested in upgradin' my skills and I've read all your learned writin' about Excel, so first -- what is it and what's it good for? I guess there's probably an "Excel for Ignoramuses" at Barnes and Noble, but do I have to buy a CD somewhere or does it come with new computers or is it in the Microsoft software somewhere or what?

        After immersing myself in that spread-out sheet, will I be computer-literate?

        "Will I dream?" -- Supercomputer "Hal" to Dr. Chandra -- 2010: A Space Odyssey

        Comment

          #5
          Bart: I use Excel for almost everything. It's a first-class spreadsheet program, but it does so much more. It's a decent Data Base manager once you master a few little quirks (of course, if you really need first class data base management you'd need to step up to Excel's sister program - Access). I have Word, but 90% of my correspondence is produced in an Excel spreadsheet as well. All my in-house forms are produced in Excel.

          A good place to start is to just buy an old copy of Excel (half the time I still use Excel 97), load it up, and start playing with it. There's so much information available on the internet for free, there's really not much reason to pay for instruction until you get really good at it and want to upgrade those skills. I often see people just begin using it for simple spreadsheet tasks and they quickly reach a point of software transparency - they begin to see how to reach a desired end result without even thinking too much about the steps needed to get there. That's when Excel really opens up for you and you begin to see more and more possibilities.
          Last edited by JohnH; 07-20-2009, 08:45 PM.
          "The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectful" - John Kenneth Galbraith

          Comment

            #6
            Agree with John. If you can use a calculator, you can use Excel.

            Wondering if there is a community college nearby that might offer a course.

            Keep away from those co-eds

            Comment

              #7
              Just google excel training, you'll find a bunch of free training on the web. Also, go to MS and you'll find free training there as well.
              Dave, EA

              Comment

                #8
                This discussion about training reminded me of an experience I had in an Excel class a few years ago. Over the past 10 years or more, I've taken a half-dozen classses on Excel and 2-3 more on Access, mainly to get up to speed on particular applications I wanted to use rather than to try and be an expert. Most of them were community college courses, because they're so cheap. One thing I can say with certainty is that a lecture class on Excel, QB, or Access is a total waste of time - the ONLY way to learn these programs is to sit at a computer and mirror what the instructor is doing on their computer. This is why just browsing Excel user forums is so helpful - if you see something of interest, you can jump over to Excel and give it a try.

                Back to the story. I had paid $100 or so for a one-day Excel Power-User course and was getting a little bored because most everything being presented was either something I knew or something I didn't think I'd ever use. I even considered leaving during the mid-afternoon break to beat traffic, but decided to stick around since they already had my money.

                Toward the end of the session the instructor said she wanted to spend the last segment showing us some tricks with the "Fill Handle". I thought I knew most of what I needed to know about the Fill Handle until this woman went to work, but in the final 30 minutes of the seminar I learned more about the entire program than I had learned in the previous 2-3 years. It literally changed the way I use Excel on a minute-by-minute basis by opening up all sorts of shortcuts & efficiency enhancers.

                I tell this for 2 reasons. First of all, you just never know where that next insight or flash of brilliance is going to come from. (I think the experts call this "serendipitous learning"). Secondly, if you want to get good at Excel, find someone to help you become expert at knowing how the FiIl Handle works, either in person or on-line. Or if you already use Excel and don't find yourself using the Fill Handle virtually all the time, I can guarantee you that you need some more instruction.
                Last edited by JohnH; 07-21-2009, 07:26 AM.
                "The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectful" - John Kenneth Galbraith

                Comment

                  #9
                  I'm with Burke. People ask "So, how are you enjoying the off season?" or "Slow season must be nice". There is a charactor on a program I watch when I have time that is a CPA, and he appears to have May through January off. I wonder about this for a second, and I have begun replying: "I don't have those, I have two seasons: busy and busier."
                  "Congress has spoken to this issue through its audible silence."
                  Anyone ever notice they beat the daylights out of the definition of a child, but they don't spend much time at all defining "parent"?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    MS Excel

                    If you have MS Office, you have Excel. (Even if you have MS Works, you have a spreadsheet program.) You'll find it helpful if you have a lot of numbers to add or manipulate, especially if your tape calculator is on the fritz. Once you discover you can sum by just clicking on the Sigma sign, you'll be hooked. Then, you'll probably play with Data Sort, maybe just to get the higher numbers up top or to alphabetize a list or.... My tax prep software is a gem at importing (and exporting) spreadsheets.

                    I found good, FREE programs at the Hewlett Packard site, HP.com I think. There are a lot of tutorials within Excel and Office. The Help function is handy and thorough if you have an internet connection.

                    Play around in Excel.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Free Online Courses @ HP

                      HP offers free online courses for various types of software. They offer various levels (beginner, intermediate, advanced) with no perquisites. As others have mentioned, much can be learned about many features and short cuts by taking these classes. The classes include a message board so that other students and the instructor can suggest solutions to any problems you may have. Questions from other students are also an excellent learning experience.

                      Google: "HP Government & education learning center" to register and sign in.

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