Client letter Just for fun

[zeros]

Needs to be Reviewed

This needs to be reviewed for the 2008 filing season. Funny!

[rosieea]

The Author

The letter which inspired this thread is the product of Bob Johansmeyer, an EA in CT. He originally posted it last year on the NAEA WebBoard. He sends it to his clients each year, and it reflects actual occurrences. This year he added this line:

"Oh, and don't forget to bring your flatulent aunt."

[BOB W]

My Web Site has.....

..... a Tab called "The Perfect Client". Now that I have this new amunition I am going to have to update it. It currently reads:

THE PERFECT CLIENT

WHAT IS A PERFECT CLIENT?

A perfect client is one that is prepared for the task at hand.

A client coming to an accountants office to prepare their tax return has spent time reviewing last year's tax return for all the items that will be covered on this year's tax return plus new items.

A perfect client comes to the office with all original documents ready to present to the accountant, with documents removed from the envelopes.

A perfect client arrives at the office on time and understands that another client is waiting to get their tax return done at their scheduled time.

A perfect client will inform the appointment maker of the estimated time it will take for the interview.

A perfect client is aware that when stocks or mutual funds are sold the accountant will need to know when it was bought and how much you paid for the each stock.

A perfect client will respond immediately to all request for additional info requested by the accountant.

Some accountants go through a great deal of trouble sending, in early January, a recap of the prior year's return to make that review process easier.

Since most accountants fees are determined by time and complexity, it makes sense to be prepared for efficient processing of your return. This also allows for time to gain addition information about your tax return and other discussions helpful to your financial planning.

"THIS PAGE IS STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION"

[geekgirldany]

Yeah that was pretty good So true on it all.

I had a couple get into a fight also while speaking in spanish. They owed for the second year in a row because the wife didn't have federal or state withholding deducted from her paycheck. She was blaming me while the husband was taking up for me. So the fight in spanish started LOL They paid and haven't been back again.

Yeah people bringing their kids can awful. Especially when the customer is constantly saying to the kids "don't touch that, be quiet, sit there and be quiet". I had a customer bring her kids and they were pretty loud. While they were running around they found a huge box of baseball cards I had bought at a yard sale. Now she kept on telling her kids not to mess with them that they were collectibles. I told the kids to sort them for me by team. You know what they did and took out the doubles Kept them quiet the rest of the time. I also have a GameCube and coloring books for the kids.

[Bonnie]

I have not laughed that hard out loud in a long time. I needed that. How true. Every word. I'll have to keep it filed so when I need a laugh I can pull it out.

Thanks
Bonnie

[sandysea]

I am going to send it out!!!

Funny...I have clients like these, I bet we ALL do....and yes, tomorrow morning first thing (2) clients are getting them. P/R tax returns? Due tomorrow and have they given me the stuff yet? HELL NO!!!

Tomorrow they get your letter. Hope it is not copyrighted

[veritas]

Lol

One tip is get some toys (espeacially puzzles) in a box for kids. Put them in a corner and show them where they are. End of interuptions. However they may leave the toys scattered. Next year when they come in the kids will head for the box.

[sea-tax]

Aren't clients wonderful!

[SueBaby]

Things you can do to make me really enjoy our tax appointment.

Always start by telling me how much you meant to be more organized this year. It also helps break up the monotony of my day when you tell me at the time of the appointment how you started your own business last year and now you have a lot of questions.

Bring your kids. Knowing that they’re wandering around my non-childproof office really helps me concentrate, not that we’re doing anything important anyway. Bring your dog, too. Even better, bring the kids and the dog. We all share a laugh when one or the other tugs on the computer cables-- it’s fun to watch the monitor wobble on its swing-arm. And I love the crumb trails your toddlers leave behind them, not to mention the spilled juice or milk on my carpets. Be angry that I don’t have a television for them to watch.

Don’t bother to open the envelopes marked Important Tax Document Enclosed. I really enjoy being your secretary and doing those little things for you. And if you do open the envelopes, leave the documents in them. If you take the documents out of the envelopes, be sure to stuff them in your pocket or just crush them so they’re hard to read. Better yet, spill coffee on them. Then hand them to me slowly, one-by-one, looking at them first like they’re written in Latin. I like the suspense.

Call me at the time of the appointment to tell me you’re just leaving and ask me if I mind if you’re a little late. Or call me at the time of the appointment to reschedule. Even better, just don’t show up, then call me a week later to tell me how sorry you are. Be late or early for your appointment. Tell me you’re late because my directions are wrong. Coming on the wrong day or the wrong time is fun, too. It’s even better when you do it the second week of April and tell me that you don’t mind coming in even at midnight because you want to get the return done.

It’s natural, your God-given right, and truly a beautiful thing when you breast-feed your infant while I prepare your tax returns. Nor do I mind your using my towels to clean yourself when the little tyke spits up. And the smell helps me focus on the task at hand.

Sell lots and lots of stock and have no idea what you paid for it and when. Ask me why you should know that. Then ask me if I can look it up on my computer. And be sure to ask me what all those investment forms mean, and then tell me something’s wrong. Whatever you do, don’t call your broker or investment advisor.

Be sure to forget a W-2 and blame your wife or husband. Ask me if I can look it up on my computer. I don’t mind the extra time it’s going take to finish your return, and I surely wouldn’t think of charging you more because of it. And when you drop off the W-2 and I tell you I’ll get to it as soon as I can, be sure to call me every day to see if it’s ready. It’s more fun when you tell me two weeks after your return is sent electronically that another W-2 you had forgotten about just turned up, and I surely don’t think that your forgetting where you worked is at all odd.

Ask me if I have facilities for changing diapers.

Ask me if I mind watching you eat your lunch while I prepare your return. Just drop the crumbs on my carpet. And be sure to spill your coffee on my desk. I have plenty of towels on hand for those other things.

I just love it when you slide your kids’ W-2s and/or investment forms across my desk and ask if I can do their returns, especially when you tell me how easy they are for me to do and how it’ll hardly take me any time to do it. No, I don’t think a kid in college should really attempt something so difficult as Tele-File or the mysterious 1040-EZ. It’s no problem that when you scheduled the appointment you forgot to tell me that your kid’s return needed to be done and that he has seven W-2s from three states. Of course, I’m really pleased to do them free because they’re so easy.

This is tooo funny!!! I printed it off and kept it for future use.

Last week a couple starting fussing in SPANISH blaming each other about not bringing every thing. I tried to talk and they looked at me like they were to kill me right there. Another couple brought their triplets (2 year olds). That was a circus and high blood pressure until I canceled the other appointments afterwards. People just don't think what we go throught stressful times or they would be more thoughtful.

Thanks for a belly laugh------I needed that!!!!

[Davc]

Pick on my poor cat until he hisses.

Time for a MAJOR PITA fee!

[jlhughes]

Thanks for the laugh. Everything in that letter is so true. Don't forget the husband and wife who keep their documents a secret from each other. She pulls hers one at a time out of her purse and he pulls his one at a time out of his coat pocket.

[BOB W]

How about....

.... the client that gives you the whole envelop full of papers and after you are done with the return says "don't forget to do jr's returns also".


(Father and Son have the same name)

[j2kp0t]

forgot the part about...

He forgot the part that comes after "be sure to call me every day to see if it’s ready" which should have read "and then don't come pick it up for two weeks after I'm done"!

[Jesse]

I can't take this........

Oh dear Bucky, I still remember this post - took time out of my busy schedule to search and find it and thought maybe someone else could use a laugh! This is still my favorite and he just left...........

".......... hand them to me slowly, one-by-one, looking at them first like they’re written in Latin. I like the suspense."

[Bees Knees]

Speaking of kids, read Armando's first day on the job experience....

http://www.thetaxbook.com/forums/showthread.php?t=247&highlight=diaper